I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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