MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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