I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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