U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
3 2 1 whiskey
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Randomize
