Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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