So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
