Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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