her vagine was all disorganized.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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