you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
