So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
