Say something about gay babies.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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