Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
