Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
