there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
