the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
