It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize