he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
