I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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