i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
