Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
