end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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