...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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