I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
