You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
