Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
