She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
