I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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