My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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