you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
