There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize