We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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