we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
