her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I party with great urgency now.
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