So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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