Pappa wants mamma naked
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize