Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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