That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize