i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
