Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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