East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I skipped work to stalk him.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize