Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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