That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
