You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
