Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
then he tried to convert me to islam
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
