why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
So vagazzling was a success
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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