last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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