he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
