do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
