Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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