Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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