Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize