DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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