I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
