Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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