I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
She needs sedatives and a leash
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Randomize
