Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The adults are the big ones right?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
