ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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