I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
