fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
