And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
