ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize