The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We talked him into tasing himself.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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