Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you win again, gameday.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
