you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I think your dad took our porno
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
