I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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