Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize