When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
