if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
