Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
